There've been a lot of factors contributing to my lack of rantage, including tax time (I owe the Internal Revenue Service a truly disgusting amount of money, what with my paychecks being ungarnished and all), Guitar Hero coming out for the Xbox, work (both freelance and office), and the ever-present spectre of WoW.

I've also started watching anime again with the advent of the spring season, which has drawn me in more than any of the winter season's offerings. I'm not going to talk about what I'm watching right now - that's a topic for another rant, especially because of my policy of watching 3-4 episodes before passing judgment. What I am going to talk about is a topic that was common in responses to my "Ebb and Flow of Interest" rant. More than a few people, who I imagine are a little bit newer to the hobby than I am, suggested that I watch such shows as Bleach, Naruto, and One Piece to renew my interest in anime.

Now, a lot of you out there are guffawing to yourselves "Lawl, what Narutards!" I won't, because these people were earnest and don't deserve the same mockery as people who go to classes with ninjer headbands on or run around stabbing palm trees (long story - it makes more sense if you are staff for Anime Expo). Besides, there was a brief period of the late 20th century where I actually read and enjoyed the first few chapters of Naruto as part of my subscription to weekly Shounen Jump. God, 2000 seems like so long ago, doesn't it?

So anyway, here is a simplified version of why Bleach, Naruto, and One Piece in anime form have not, do not, and will not float my boat.

I've been reading Shounen Jump since around 2000. It's a fine, respectable magazine to read, with plenty of readers from all demographics. However, it also has a distinct formula, which most of its fans are well aware of. My friend Shimapan recently told me about the "fourth saying," which is a fan joke about other parts of the Jump formula.

The "fourth saying" is a reference to the three-part Jump motto 「努力、友情、勝利」 (something akin to "Hard work, friendship, and victory"). These themes run pretty strong through every Jump manga ever printed, even in the comedy and romance stuff. Over time, fans have developed a fourth one that goes something like 「悪そうな奴は大体友達」 ("The villainous-looking dude is usually a friend."), which is pretty light-hearted as modified mottos go. The more cynical Jump fans have modified the motto to be 「努力、友情、勝利、アニメ化」 ("Hard work, friendship, victory, and an anime adaptation").

What does this mean? Well, it means that once you've read a couple of Jump manga, you have a very good idea of where the rest of them are going, ESPECIALLY out of the ones which get turned into anime. As any casual reader of Harlequin romances or Hardy Boy mysteries can tell you, you get really tired of the formula after a while. The Bleach anime, One Piece anime, Naruto anime, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, and so on, they're all part of the same formula Jump has been encouraging for decades. I won't insult you for enjoying them, but I don't enjoy them myself.

I hope this clears up any questions people may have had about me not watching formulaic anime based on Jump manga. And just in case, I'd like to let everyone know that I love reading Eyeshield 21 because it's football and makes me laugh, and I like reading M Zero because Yasuhiro Kanou's art and writing amuses me (something you may remember from my long-past Pretty Face phase). So it's not like I hate randomly on any Jump stuff out there - it's just that I've read more than enough of it and have become picky in my old age.

As a note, Shimapan also told me that Eyeshield 21 may get converted into a stage musical soon. If this happens, I will HAVE to go to Japan to see it, as it will be Football: the Musical.